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User blog:Degrassi Forever/Destroying Juliet, Chapter Fourteen
THIS IS NOT A FAN-FICTION. THIS IS A STORY I WORKED ON DURING MY SUMMER HOLIDAYS. A Thin Veneer I was working hard to present a detached and indifferent exterior to the people at school while inside my guts churned and my head ached with the overwhelming question of why? The misery was released at home, alone in my bedroom, the one place where I had felt safe until it was invaded through my fifteen-inch flat screen monitor, Dad was starting to check on my computer use. He'd come into my room quietly, trying to sneak up on me and read over my shoulder the website I was on. So I'd open two, and if I heard him coming I'd quickly switch to the alternative page. "Come on," he said one night, reading the web page on Sorrento Life Saving Club over my shoulder, 'you spend too much time on the computer." "No Dad," I said, panicking that I wouldn't be able to read the vote results. I was on a site where people at school cast their vote as to whether they thought I ws a slut or not. Last count was 23 people saying yes. I was pretty pleased; it seemed fewer people were believing the lies. "I want you to come downstairs and join the family. Remember us? Dad, Mum and little sister?" He had that I'm-not-going-argue-about-it tone. "In a minute," I said, wanting him to go first so I could check the results. "Now," he said, leaning over to pick up the mouse. "MIllionare's on - bet you can't beat me. I've got the $16,000 question right." I took the mouse out of his hand and pressed hibernate. I'd have to come back to it later. "Okay." I sat on the couch. I'd shared a block of chocolate with Mum and Dad and my hot chocolate had gone cold in the bottom of my cup. I had a sickly feeling in my stomach. Ruby was asleep with her head in my lap. Mum had her feet in Dad's lap. "It's B!" Dad was shouting at the contestant "No David," Mum said, "it's A - he's right." Dad looked at me and winked. "What do you think?" I hadn't been watching. I'd been staring at the telly screen thinking about school and who'd be voting against me. I couldn't relax until I knew. What percentage would it be now?"A," I said quickly. Mum smirked at Dad. "Hmmm, surprising," Dad said. "You'll all be sorry. I'd have thought you'd back a winner Juliet. Watch and learn!" Dad won the $64,000 question. And when I checked the website, finally, after they let me go to bed, I had scored 65 percent. Now I had to rush home and hit the web straight away. Dad had imposed a 6:00pm internet curfew on me. I was sitting at my desk, my usual position at three thirty in the afternoon, deliberating over which site to hit first, when Ruby came in. I didn't have the time or energy for Ruby these days. She was too much like hard work. I couldn't play her games, or listen patiently as she found the right words to tell me about her day. She'd speak and it was like a ringing in my ears. All I could think about was the websites. I needed to be in my room, door shut, reading the shit about me. I was hitting the first site when she came up to my elbow. "Vu Vu," she said. "Not now Rubes," I said, hitting her hand away from the keyboard. I'd got into a chat room and my name was being mentioned by several of the participants. "Vu Vu," she said again, pulling on the sleeve of my shirt. "Ruby!" I snarled, my voice sharp and mean. I didn't take my eyes off from the screen, but shook her hand off like she was an annoying fly. She was quiet for a while and I didn't look to see where she'd gone. My eyes were fixed on the screen in front of me. I'd gone back to last night's vote where I was disappointed to see I'd ended up scoring 89 percent. Dragon Girl was online saying the results must've been rigged, that it was impossible for 11 percent of the population to think I wasn't a slut. Hope, Faith and Charity came in saying I must have voted myself over and over again. The anger was building inside me, it was like a pot simmering on the stove. I moved the mouse viciously as I clicked from one page to the next. The next minute my screen went black, all the light converging into a tiny white pinprick in the centre. "What the -?" I yelled through gritted teeth. I looked down and Ruby was under my desk. She'd turned the computer off! I felt the rage bursting out of my ears as I reahed under the desk and roughly dragged her out by her arm. The look of satisfaction on her face shrank to a tiny pursed mouth as I raged at her. "RUBY! HOW COULD YOU? YOU'RE A NAUGHTY GIRL! NAUGHTY!" My words were so loud and hard they even hurt my own ears. Ruby;s face crumpled like a paper bag, bottom lip red and wet, her mouth opened so wide I could see her tonsils at the back of her throat ad then her cry, louder than my shouting. The howling only exacerbated my rage, it felt like hat pins being stuck into my brain. I wanted to shut her up. I still had hold of her arm and felt myself squeezing it harder. "JULIET!" Mum shouted, throwing open the door so hard it banged against the wall. She ran into the room and grabbed Ruby, protectively shielding her from my rage. As she lifted her up I still had my hand fixed around Ruby's arm. I couldn't release my grip. "Let go of her!" Mum screamed at me, and I had never seen my mum so angry. I felt my fingers release. It was as ifmy body was obeying someone else's brain. My hand dropped uselessly into my lap. I looked at it and looked at Ruby's chubby white arm tattooed with my red fingerprints like a barbed wire armband. It should've been enough to shame me but I felt nothing. "What's wrong with you?" Mum said sharply, jiggling and stroking uby, soothing her plaintive howls with gentle cooing noises. I didn't say anything. I just stared at Mum and Ruby as if I'd never seen them before. "What?" she snapped again, her patience gone. "I'm speaking to you, Juliet. Answer me." "She's annoying," I heard someone say nastily, using my voice. Mum looked like I had stuck one of those hat pins through her heart. She didn't say anything else, just gave me a really sad face and carried my sister away. Category:Blog posts